My life is spinning round and round. I wonder if I'll ever come down.
Sedated, medicated, shrunk and analyzed. What will I come to realize? My mind says one thing, my heart screams another. Too many battles, not enough capacity. Will I break? Will I lose it? Breakdown, beat-down, going down. Done. I want to run. Be honest, where would I go? I wish I could know. Fickle doesn't even begin to describe me. Where will I be? Hiding in my hat, cloaked in an over-sized coat. Am I distorted? Or am I sane? I always feel such disdain. Numbing out. Can't hear. Are you there? Am I here? Shaking, trembling, longing for an embrace. Will I ever win this race? Tumbling down and down into the deep. No words help; I constantly weep. Staring off into space, thoughtless and free. Is this real; can this be? There's no end in sight, I'm losing the fight. Spiraling, tumbling, tripping, stumbling. Zoning. The lack of feeling. My comfort, my norm. I want to be thin. I want to be sick. My candle is burning down to the wick. Tortured, scorched, wanting to burn. Will I ever learn?
My life is spinning round and round. Will I ever come down?
In your 'about me' you forgot to say you are honest to a fault; loved imperfectly by family; and loved perfectly by our Heavenly Father.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, my sweet niece. :)